Relationships are built between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued, when their boundaries are respected, and when they can give and receive without judgment through practicing vulnerability.
In the Center for Student Wellness we believe positive, healthy relationships matter and are critical to student success. Relationships are built between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued, when their boundaries are respected, and when they can give and receive without judgment through practicing vulnerability. We believe all students deserve to feel welcome and comfortable to be themselves in a campus culture that is diverse, inclusive, and equitable.
Key Messages
Give yourself permission to be open, honest, and vulnerable with yourself and others.
Cultivate a variety of connections to meet needs and make a point to engage with people who are different than yourself.
Use "i" statements, actively listen, show empathy and respect, and stay open to alternative perspectives.
Discover
What messages do you receive around caring for your SOUL? Listen to a variety of perspectives, from experts and peers, and consider how it relates to your experiences.
Hear from an expert
The danger of hiding who you are
Morgana Bailey has been hiding her true self for 16 years. In a brave talk in front of an audience of her co-workers, she reflects on what it means to fear the judgement of others, and how it makes us judge ourselves.
More perspectives
Explore
How do you care for your SOUL? Engage in these reflective activities and behaviors to discover what works best for you.
Strive for Authenticity
To be authentic, we must cultivate the courage to be imperfect—and vulnerable. We have to believe that we are fundamentally worthy of love and acceptance, just as we are (Brene Brown). How do you strive for authenticity? Ask yourself these 4 Questions and Read this article on 20 Ways to Be an Authentic Person. It's challenging to be real in a world that wants us to fit in, seem perfect, and please everybody, next time you’re wrestling with the shame and fear of not being good enough, decide on a personal mantra or anchor thought that you’re going to think in any situation that threatens your authenticity and repeat this to yourself to help you keep it real.
Establish a Support System
Being in isolation doesn’t need to mean feeling isolated. It is important to connect with all those important people in your life - friends, family, romantic partners, professors, etc to help you get through this pandemic and semester together. Try to meet with each of your professors at least once a semester, if not more or connect with a staff member on campus! Faculty and staff at BC love to meet and connect with students and they can be an excellent resource if you’re struggling with class material or belonging. Learn about the many resources on campus that are here to support you. Forming mentor relationships is a great way to feel grounded in the community and more on top of your academic and personal life.
Practive Positive Communications
Create a list of people to do “weekly check-ins” with, send them an email, share what you’ve been up (a song or podcast you’ve been listening to, movie or show you’ve been watching, inspiring quotes you’ve found, etc), and ask them to reply and let you know how they’re doing.The next time you send your family or friends a quick message or pick up the phone to call them, do more than just let them know you are thinking about them. Share a positive memory, highlight a trait of theirs you admire, or talk about a moment you felt really connected to them. Speaking openly will cultivate a deeper relationship and bring joy into their day and yours. Even though we talk to people all the time, most of us don’t converse very well. Watch Celeste Headlee’s TED Talk to get to know the ingredients of a great conversation. Then, the next time you are talking with someone, make a conscious effort to test out one of the tips and notice how the conversation changes. Even something simple like avoiding multitasking or asking an open-ended question can make a difference.
Set Boundaries
When relationships with friends or partners start to feel draining or out of your control, allow yourself to have the feeling and let yourself acknowledge when you feel uncomfortable. You never have to stay in a relationship that makes you feel worse about yourself. Try voicing your discomfort using “I feel” statements instead of accusatory statements, learn about how and when to use “I statements”. Read this guide to setting healthy boundaries. Knowing when to remove yourself from a relationship is vital to your overall health. If you need help developing strategies to develop boundaries, make an appointment with Counseling Services or a Wellness Coach.
Live
What do you need to do to care for your mind (or body, or soul) and live well? Sign up to meet with a Wellness Coach to reflect on your current wellbeing and set goals that feel achievable to you.
Let's Talk More...
We want to help you find joy in your journey, wherever you’re at. We have many resources within Center for Student Wellness and throughout campus to continue this conversation—we’re here to listen, reflect, and help you set and achieve health goals that feel intuitive, sustainable, and balanced.
Meet with a Peer Wellness Coach
Engage in a conversation about your health and wellness goals related to caring for your body - in the areas of sleep and general health, body image and exercise, and alcohol and other drugs!
Visit bc.edu/wellnesscoach to schedule your Wellness Coaching session and learn about each type of appointment, or use the links below to sign up directly through google calendar.