Graduate studies have been a busy time for me, and surely for my fellow students as well. I remember that at our 2021 new student orientation a professor invited my incoming class to foster our prayer life during our studies as students often neglect prayer while studying theology. I admit that my own prayer life is quite different from what I expected for this life moment, and I continue to notice how loud life feels right now: papers, work, the list of things to read, keeping in touch with people back home, planning for the next semester, imagining the future after this degree—there is so much to do, consider, pursue, etc., that often it is difficult to really be grounded in prayer, in the why of graduate studies, in the presence of God.
In a recent article, America shared the text of Pope Francis’ weekly Wednesday audience, offering a catechesis on discernment. Pope Francis’ discussion offers valuable insights for those who, like me, are experiencing the loudness of life. He writes that “whether we want to or not, we always perform acts of discernment concerning what we eat, read, at work, in our relationships, everything … if we do not make conscious choices, in the end it is life that chooses for us, taking us where we do not want to go.” While this expansive conception of discernment can sound overwhelming, I suggest it as a positive reminder for those in theology and ministry studies and work. Although we study discernment and spirituality daily, there is no requirement for discernment to be a high-falutin, wonderfully researched, nor perfectly employed. Rather, discernment is part of the daily fabric of our lives, and we are invited to see our lives more gently through the lens of discernment—choosing how and when we will act or respond, not being forced to hold onto any one thing, nor having to perfectly systematize the way we discern our daily actions. Discernment can encompass every act in our lives, but more like the way that a fish is always in water than it is that we are “successfully” conforming our lives to a rule.
Furthermore, discernment is not something that we do alone! Living in the lens of discernment also offers freedom from the burden of solipsistic thinking and acting in favor of a community that brings greater life to our choices and experiences. Interestingly, Francis expands even this conception of “discernment with others.” Beyond simply sharing our discernment with others, Francis offers several aids for discernment including building a living relationship with scripture, tradition, and the Holy Spirit. I find his description of the Spirit most interesting: “the gift of the Holy Spirit, who is present in us and who instructs us … opens doors that seem closed, [and] indicates paths in life where there seem to be only darkness and confusion.” Francis challenges us to consider how, if ever, we relate to the Spirit, who moves us to consider new ways of being that can animate us toward becoming more fully alive. Discernment is an expression of our ongoing relationship with the Spirit who brings light to the darkness, offering us new paths that are only clarified through the Spirit’s light.
I’ve especially witnessed this new life from the Spirit through my ministry practicum placement site in the St. Ignatius Chestnut Hill 19th Annotation Program. I have been overjoyed in my placement to watch as retreatants connect with the Spirit in our bi-weekly faith sharing groups and in one-on-one direction. Each time I see a retreatant recognize and allow the Spirit to deepen their prayer experience, I note that my own affinity for and sensitivity to the same Spirit grows through the accompaniment of these retreatants. My participation in the ministry practicum certainly adds noise to my life through scheduling, responsibilities, and leadership, yet the experience has opened me more fully to the life and nature of the Spirit. Appearing in the silence amidst the noise, the Spirit suggests new opportunities, and inspires our retreatants and myself to discern ways of being more fully alive in community with one another and with the Spirit. My placement has opened up my experience of the Spirit in and through the noise of daily life, calling me to better attune myself to the quiet movements that animate the busyness of life.
Reflecting on these experiences of the Spirit, and Francis’ discussion of discernment, I wonder how each of us might be called, both in and through the loudness of our lives, to grow in relationship with the Spirit at this time. As we move into spring and the end of this semester and school year, it seems that this is a clear time of discernment across a variety of opportunities and contexts—perhaps this is the time then to test out the lens of discernment. Rather than holding tightly to decisions and opportunities, may we learn to be more discerning in the loudness of our lives: holding each thing with at least a sense of detachment, and trusting the Spirit to illuminate new opportunities to live in relationship with God, ourselves, and all the things that make noise in our lives.