Boston College Law School student Caitlin Cahow, a two-time Olympian who won bronze (2006) and silver (2010) medals as a member of the US women’s hockey team, headed to Sochi, Russia, last week as part of an American delegation attending the closing ceremonies of the Winter Olympics. She spoke with Chronicle’s Sean Hennessey prior to her departure.
You had two successful experiences competing at the Olympics. Did you consider trying for a third time?
I was training to go to a third Olympics and then I suffered a terrible concussion. After my second Olympics, I enrolled at BC Law and at that point I was making a decision as to whether I wanted to attend law school and whether I wanted to retire from hockey. BC Law was incredibly supportive of my career, so I was able to keep playing at a really high level for the Boston Blades [of the professional Canadian Women’s Hockey League] and also with the national team. For two years, that was my reality. I was a busy, busy girl.
And then the concussion hit and it took me a year to really come back. I took a year off from school, I stopped doing everything. I actually was able to come back and play for the Blades, and we won the Clarkson Cup title that year as the first American team to do that. I was the captain, so it was mostly a labor of love and to prove to myself that, you know, no one was going to make the decision for me to retire other than me. It was really a cathartic experience, but when I got back to playing with the national team it just wasn’t the same. The joy and ease that I had playing with before had been a little bit beaten out of me just because I didn’t always feel safe on the ice.
The pressure to compete at that level, the pressures of training, the demands it takes on your body – my concussion affected me in so many ways that I’m still discovering. And looking around the room at all the women who were chomping at the bit and ready and dedicated and determined, and who had maybe not been there before, I decided it just wasn’t right for me to continue to be in that position. While I still love the game and I love my country, you can’t be in that mindset going for a gold medal. We need people who are ready to go, and I was holding on a little too much and so I made the very difficult decision to retire.
At the end of the day, it’s been an amazing transition for me and enabled me to do a lot of things that I hadn’t been able to do. I feel like I’ve almost been reborn in a lot of ways. I’m excited to watch some really great hockey in Sochi and I’m excited for what the rest of my life holds.
Did you ever think you’d be back at the Olympic Games this way, representing the US at the closing ceremonies?
No, I never really thought it was an option. I knew there were presidential delegations in the past and I had briefly flirted with the idea of trying to take on a more diplomatic role with the International Olympic Committee or the US Olympic Committee as a way to give back to sport for all that it’s given me. So I did have some aspirations to do something like that but never to this magnitude. I mean, this was a surprise and a very humbling honor.
What does it mean to you to have been chosen to be part of this closing ceremony procession?
This is easily the greatest honor of my athletic career. Who knows what my life will hold, but it’s going to be pretty hard to top this. I have such a profound respect for the office of the President of the United States as someone who is a law student and a student of history. I’m so proud to be an American and so grateful to have grown up in the United States that when the president asks you to represent him, I can’t imagine a greater thrill. It’s just very, very humbling and an incredible honor.
What do you think your selection represents?
I think it represents a lot of things. The president chose to focus on a lot of successful female delegates, which I think is a fantastic message because the president has also made gender equality an important issue for our country to be moving towards. But obviously, I’m openly gay and so is Brian Boitano and so is Billie Jean King [Boitano and King also were selected to the delegation; King announced Feb. 5 she would not attend due to her mother’s ill health]. Billie Jean, probably more than any of us, has been active in LGBT equality over the course of her lifetime. I’ve certainly been outspoken about LGBT equality, so it does send a message – but I think it also says to the citizens of the United States that, you know, this is what our country looks like, that people come in all different shapes, sizes, colors. Our country is a country of diversity and we need to remember that. Our representatives really demonstrate that to the world, so I think it’s a great all-around message.
Was your selection, and that of Boitano and King, also perhaps a shot across the bow to Russian President Vladimir Putin, given his country’s anti-gay legislation?
The president made his thoughts clear about Russian LGBT policy in press conferences well before the delegation was announced. I think it’s been very clear. Certainly, being in Russia as an openly gay person and retired athlete will be a very different experience based on political underpinnings of the occasion, but at the same time my focus is on the athletes. So nothing has really changed for me in the sense that I’m representing my country, I’m supporting my teammates.
Whenever you compete internationally, sometimes it’s a hostile environment – but you have to get over it and you have to complete the mission that you set out to do. So this experience in that sense will be no different for me than competing.
Do you expect any hostility?
I don’t anticipate any hostility. I think once the games are opened, the focus is going to be on the athletes and rightly so – they’ve been working their whole lives for this opportunity. So I think once athletes start competing and once people get drawn into that Olympic spirit, it’s going to be much less about me and my personal life than it is about the great achievements of the athletes.
What are your thoughts on Putin and his country’s less-than-welcoming attitudes about gays?
I think it’s made me even more proud to be an American, to realize that I’ve grown up with the benefit of people who welcome me and embrace me and have supported me my whole life. Granted, you know, it’s not perfect in the United States. We have a lot of work to do and it’s been a reminder, being put on a pedestal representing the LGBT community in some ways for my country, that there are certainly a lot of misconceptions and there is still discomfort in our own country with regard to LGBT people. That’s become a prime focus of mine – how do we alleviate that? – and so looking to Russia, I see an opportunity to engage in really great discussions. I see an opportunity for citizens and politicians from around the world to get involved in some discourse about issues that really matter. But mostly, I see an opportunity to be really inspired by the Olympic spirit, the idea that the Olympics can bring out the best in all of us for the greater good of humanity. Hopefully, that message and inspiration will carry over into new political decisions and diplomatic discussions moving forward.
As a female athlete, you’ve said there’s a lot of silence when it comes to LGBT issues and that this hurts women. Is taking part in this Olympic procession part of an effort on your part to get LGBT issues out into the open more?
My primary goal is to represent the president and represent my country. But to me, it’s an incredible honor and a great opportunity to demonstrate that there’s a lot of inequality in the world and also in society, in the United States. I mean we have a big gender gap problem in the US and often times I equate that with these preconceived gender norms we’ve adhered to for hundreds of years. It gives women more of a barrier than I think we really understand, and as a gay woman certainly I think there’s an added barrier. I know a lot of athletes who don’t want to come out of the closet because they’re afraid of what the media will think, what it will do to their sport, and that’s become glaringly apparent to me through this process. I really hope that I can be one step towards making a change so that athletes don’t have to be in the closet. I don’t know how many gay athletes there are, but I would imagine it’s more than the ones who are out. So my goal is to try to move our society towards a time when you no longer live and die with those classifications.
One of the big topics leading to these Olympics has been security. Do you have any concerns?
As a member of the delegation, I don’t personally have any concerns about security. I have no fears. I know I will be protected, so I’m not worried for myself. I’m also not worried for the athletes. I think there are abundant resources on the ground in Russia. The Russian security forces have ample resources and manpower to ensure that the games stay safe. The International Olympic Committee is in consultation with them and the US has offered any assistance that is necessary, so I really do think that it is the ultimate goal of all involved to make sure these Olympics are safe and peaceful. I feel very good about that.
What’s your favorite memory of your Olympic experiences?
Oh, definitely walking into the opening ceremonies in 2006. There were tens of thousands of people in the stands. Nobody had cellphones, because it was in Italy, and I remember for whatever reason just looking up into the stands and somehow being able to spot my mother. I don’t know how it happened, but I just looked up and I saw her face and I just started bawling and so did she. I mean, it was just one of those moments where there’s no reason for it to happen, but it just does and it totally swept me off my feet. I’ll never forget it.
And I’m sure seeing your mom then you made you think about your dad [who passed away when Cahow just 11 years old], perhaps looking down on you?
Oh, you’re going to make me cry. Thank you for saying that. Yes, definitely. It’s just so emotional. Even thinking back on it now, I’m emotional. No athlete gets to the Olympics on his or her own. For me, it was just the years of my mom driving me to hockey practice at 5:00 in the morning, my parents paying for hockey gear – it’s expensive – paying for teams and ice time, and going all over the world to watch me play and cheer me on. I don’t know how many times my mom sat in freezing cold ice rinks just to cheer for me. And it’s just such a moving experience, which is why I’m so excited for the athletes. I really want them to be able to have the full value, the full magnitude of that experience because it is a highlight of your life, and it does feel like for the first time you really get to start to say “thank you” a little bit to all those people who got you there. It’s just an incredibly important life-changing moment.
What’s the closing ceremony of an Olympic Games like?
The closing ceremony is really interesting. The opening ceremony is like the clean slate, where everyone walks in and wears their nation’s colors. The closing ceremony is kind of like a party because everyone has been working so hard and no matter what happens – you may be disappointed, you may be frustrated, you may be joyous from your result –at the end of the day, you all realize that you’ve been part of a big megadrama, and every single person has had a role in it and the entire world has been transfixed by it for 17 days. You really do feel a sense of a global community, that you’ve done something really extraordinary for the world. So it’s a celebration and a lot of fun, and I can’t wait to go.
How did you find out about your selection for the delegation?
I got a call from the White House personnel office telling me that I was in consideration, and that I was being vetted. So I went through a vetting process and two days later I found out that I actually had been selected, but I couldn’t tell anyone before the official announcement.
In fact, the announcement was made the night before your Constitutional Law exam on a case that overturned the Defense of Marriage Act, right?
Yeah, if somebody had written that scenario, I wouldn’t believe it – it was just a great confluence of events. I’m an athlete and I’m superstitious so it felt right, it felt like a good sign. Since the announcement, my whole life has been a rollercoaster ride – and the exam went pretty well, so maybe it was a good sign.
What’s your professional aspiration after BC Law?
Well, I will be clerking next year in Chicago for a federal judge and this summer I will be working in a big corporate law firm, so I’m hoping to continue on with them. The sky is the limit for me. As strongly as I feel about equality in sports and equality for the LGBT community, I feel really strongly about equality for women in the United States and the fact that there is gross inequality right now – especially when you’re talking about powerful jobs, salaries and opportunities. There are more glass ceilings to be cracked, so I’ll be on to my next mission.
So you see yourself as using your law degree to help women have an equal footing with men.
Absolutely. Absolutely. That’s the whole point. You use your education for the best possible purpose; that’s something I learned at BC. I’m looking forward to it. I will always find challenges which will excite me – I’m an athlete and a competitor to the core – so I’m always chasing after that next mountain, and I’m excited for whatever comes my way.
How is attending BC Law helping you achieve those aspirations?
BC Law has been amazing, not only supporting me while I was still competing internationally playing hockey – which pretty much no other law school was interested in doing – but also supporting me through my concussion. The entire faculty was fantastic in helping me get through what was really a devastating injury, but more than that, the goodwill that BC has in the legal community is astounding. Anytime I want to do something, or if there are firms I want to interview with, or people I want to meet, somebody at BC always has a great connection and a great relationship with whoever that is. And it’s been amazing to me to go through that process of being in the job hunt, have my professors write me letters and then hear back from partners in law firms, “Oh my gosh, I had that professor. That was my favorite class,” or “If you’re getting a recommendation from this professor, we take your application very seriously.” It’s really amazing to hear.
You’ve said that “As important as I understand my role to be in this delegation, I'm going to Russia not just to represent one community, I'm going to represent the United States and all that we stand for.” Can you expand on that?
I am very proud to be an American and I am very much a product of my environment. I grew up with great opportunities, I grew up in a house and a community that supported me. I got a great education and now I’m transitioning into the work force. That’s the American dream and I want that for every single person – those qualities of opportunity and education, and an equal playing field. That’s what we stand for in my mind, and I hope to continue to use my ability and my opportunities to push that forward into reality.