As part of the admission process, master’s applicants are offered the opportunity to connect with an CSTM graduate who serves as their Discernment Partner. We ask the pair to meet once, and then decide together if/how they want to stay connected, letting the applicant lead the way. We also encourage admitted students to reach back out to their Discernment Partner for support as they make their final decision. This program is rooted in CSTM’s larger desire to create a culture of discernment that permeates all aspects of a student’s journey.
One pair, Ariell Watson, M.Div. ‘18, and Julia D’Agostino, M.Div. ‘24, have stayed in touch even beyond Julia’s enrollment. The interview below describes their motivation for participating as well as the impact of the program on their lives and vocational journeys.
What led you to seek out a Discernment Partner and how did this relationship provide support as you applied?
Julia D’Agostino (JD): When I was applying to the CSTM, I saw the option to have a Discernment Partner, and I immediately clicked “yes” because I wanted to be able to talk through my options with someone who didn’t have any expectations of me; someone who wasn’t a family member or friend; someone who didn’t have any “skin in the game” (for lack of a better term). I thought it would be helpful to talk to someone without any pressure.
I applied to the CSTM during the beginning months of the pandemic and I was nervous that I was applying because I needed something to do and wanted some certainty in the midst of all the unknown. I remember telling Ariell how I was afraid that my application was my “buoy in the ocean,” something that would make me feel safe. I wanted to make sure I was applying for the right reasons. I wanted to ensure that the call I was hearing was not just in my own head, but that God was, indeed, moving my heart.
What led you to serve as a Discernment Partner?
Ariell Simon (AS): I decided to serve as a Discernment Partner because I remember how helpful it was for me to talk to current students when I was applying to divinity schools. I had a wonderful experience at the CSTM, so when the Admissions team reached out for volunteers for this program, I jumped at the opportunity to give back to the CSTM community that has given me so much.
How did this program provide a more holistic discernment process for you?
JD: I always find that when alumni remain involved with their alma maters, it says a lot about a school. Due to the pandemic, most of the admissions offerings were online when I applied, so I wasn’t able to get a feel for the physical school because I wasn’t able to visit in person. However, my conversations with Ariell spoke volumes about the character of the people who attend the CSTM. Although we spoke about the CSTM as an option for me, we often spoke about our own lives, experiences, and vocations. We got to know one another and built a relationship beyond my coming to the CSTM.
While the hope of the Discernment Partner program is to provide support for prospective CSTM students, has the program benefited you personally?
AS: My initial discernment conversations with Julia reminded me of so many experiences I had while at the CSTM, activating memories of the wonderful faculty, courses, and extracurricular experiences that enriched my CSTM experience. While my primary purpose was to aid Julia in her discernment, those conversations also brought me back to a special time in my life and reawakened my gratitude for my CSTM experience. Talking with Julia about her decision to attend the CSTM reminds me of my own vocational journey, which roots my ministry today.
Did you find anything distinctive about CSTM’s approach to discernment in the application process?
JD: The CSTM was the only school I applied to that provided the option for a discernment partner. In a lot of ways, this reminded me that we cannot and should not discern in a vacuum. We should discern in community. It can be difficult to discern what is of the Spirit because our own thoughts, feelings, hopes, expectations, or desires can cloud our judgment. In my opinion, when we discern with others, we can better hear God’s voice. Because the CSTM admissions process emphasized discernment, I recognized how much the CSTM roots itself in Ignatian values and spirituality.
What connections have you found between your conversations with Ariell and your experience at CSTM so far?
JD: When I connected with Ariell for the first time via Zoom, I knew that she cared about me. I didn’t feel any pressure from her to attend the CSTM. Instead, Ariell helped me look inward to consider which program would serve me and help me serve God. I remember being struck by Ariell’s kindness, especially when she agreed to meet with me beyond our initial meeting. That kindness is something I have continued to experience at the CSTM. Here, I am not just another student in a classroom, I am a member of a supportive community.
How does this program fit into your own continued formation and/or your vocation for ministry?
AS: I have served as the lone minister in most of my professional roles since the CSTM. It can be lonely work, without like-minded colleagues and with few natural opportunities to connect with younger people entering into ministry. This program has given me the opportunity to connect with the CSTM, to speak with like-minded prospective students, and to be inspired by their enthusiasm and questions. Their passion and energy reminds me of how blessed I am to be serving in ministry today, and it calls me to use my education for the greater good.
You two have stayed in touch even after Julia enrolled. Can you talk about how that came to be? How does this connection continue to benefit each of you?
AS: While I certainly had no expectation that Julia would want to remain in touch with me after our first formal discernment conversation, I expressed my willingness to continue to be a resource to her in future. If I remember correctly, we had a follow-up conversation after she had been accepted, and I offered to help her with course selection for her first semester. While attending the CSTM, Julia has reached out occasionally when something at the CSTM reminds her of me. I’m always delighted to hear from her and get updates on how her studies are going! Recently I was visiting Boston and we finally got to meet in person, after nearly 2 years of communicating virtually. I was thrilled to see her thriving and to have a connection to current CSTM students. Seeing her thrive at the CSTM and grow in her vocation has been very rewarding. I’m so grateful that I’ve been able to play some small part in it!
JD: Like Ariell, I didn’t think we would stay in touch beyond a couple of updates at the beginning of my first year to let her know how I was doing. However, I quickly found that there were so many parts of my journey that I wanted to share with her. I would see little reminders (her name on a folder, a recording of a talk she gave) – almost an “Ariell was here!” moment – and I would immediately reach out to check in with her.
I finally got to meet Ariell this fall after two years of virtual friendship. (And I would call it a friendship!) It was heartwarming and wholesome to finally meet in person. No one in my family has pursued a degree in theology, so it’s comforting to have someone in my corner who knows what it’s like to engage with theology head-on (and heart-on!). Ariell was only in the area for a short time, and I was so honored that she wanted to spend time with me while visiting. Who knew that a discernment partner would become a friend?