To kick off #PrideMonth2022 we would like to reshare some of the powerful stories from current students and alumni of the of the Clough School of Theology and Ministry who reflected on their experiences as LGBTQ people of faith in the Here all Along, Here to Stay: LGBTQ Catholics in the United States, presented by the Boston College Clough School of Theology and Ministry and Boston College Libraries.
“I taught in a Catholic high school for years. It was my faith community, and I loved it more than I can put into words. It’s my vocation. As a gay man, though, my choices were to live my vocation in the closet, come out and be fired, or come out and leave my job. The third option was the only one that left me with any agency. I came to CSTM to figure out where else God may be calling me in ministry to young adults, but I miss my students and my friends every day. I wish the Church could see that God called me, exactly as God made me, to help build the Kingdom.” – Nick Fagnant, MATM ‘22
“In my own faith journey and coming to awareness of my sexual orientation, one key moment was the Mass of Belonging at St. Ignatius. This came at a time when I had been trying to understand what it meant for me to be a student and minister who is LGBTQ+ in the church. I found comfort, acceptance, and space at the CSTM to wrestle with these deeper questions through classes, friendships, and different mentors. However, this particular Mass was advertised as a special welcome for LGBTQ+ folks to feel like they belong and are part of the church. I asked friends to come with me, and it was one of the first experiences where I felt like I didn’t have to hide a certain part of my identity. I was reminded that I was made in the image and likeness of God, that I am beloved and perfect just as I am, and that God doesn’t want me to be anyone other than who I am.” – Andrea Miller, MA ’20
“At age 21, I discerned my way from my evangelical background into the Catholic Church. Five years later, I discerned my way into a loving partnership with the woman who is now my wife. As odd as it may seem to others, the same process—following my conscience and trusting the Spirit—led me to both Catholicism and my queer identity. Many elements of the institutional Church claim that these identities are incompatible, but I don’t know how to be one without the other. Perhaps it’s my queerness that gave me the courage to leave the tradition of my birth and enter the Catholic church; perhaps “coming out” as Catholic was the practice I needed to “come out” as queer.
I often joke that I converted to Catholicism because it’s so progressive. While that statement inevitably draws laughs, it is true in comparison to the evangelical fundamentalism of my youth. Studying theology and church history has only strengthened my conviction that the Church is wide enough to have space for people like me.” – Ariell Watson Simon, MDIV ’18
“One key moment for me on my faith journey was going to confession. This is about five year before entering the Jesuits. I had not been to confession in YEARS, and I had left the Catholic Church because of my gay identity and of what I felt (still feel) is a hypocritical and discriminating ‘relationship’ with LGBTQ+ community. But I went to confession anyway, a whole other kind of story. The Jesuit priest, Fr. Matt Ruhl, pastor of St. Francis Xavier Parish in Kansas City, Missouri, my hometown and home parish, would not accept my confession of being a gay man. He said being gay was not a sin, and “God loves you.” Well. I cried. I’d not heard that before in connection with my sexual orientation. It would be one of many more invitations Christ offered me in my return to the Church.” – Damien Torres-Botello, S.J.
“As a gay Catholic, staying put is so difficult, because it seems like every day there are clerical and lay leaders of great authority and prominence waking up with new ideas of how to pry me out of the church! I can only maintain resistance and presence in the Catholic Church today by being openly and honestly my whole self. This allows me to connect with others who also experience similar pain and with those eager to share allied compassion. In turn, I am able to protest the label of being sexually ‘disordered.’ In doing so I have been able to extend consolation, affirmation, and strength for authenticity to others.
At the end of the day, God made me who I am – all of me. As Mayor Pete said in the 2020 primary campaign, “Your quarrell is not with me, but with my Creator.”” – James Reding, MTS ‘22
“My relationship with the institutional church was deepened and made more complex while a graduate student at the STM. Deepening resulted from the diverse and numerous examples of queer love and queer faith I witnessed and read about at and beyond the CSTM, including through Gaudete. Complexifying resulted from the diverse and numerous examples of suffering, rejection, internalized hatred, and marginalization in the Church, in the U.S., and in the world to which my eyes were opened, as well as how these instances of dehumanization could be softened or intensified in conjunction with other identities. The past year has done both these things for me, as well, particularly challenging me to acknowledge, raise awareness of, and work against transphobia and the life-threatening marginalization of Black trans women that occurs in general society and through messaging from the Catholic Church and USCCB.” – Alex Gruber, MTS ’20