On a cold weekend in February, eight CSTM students took a day to listen to God and to each other to discern between two alternatives of importance to our life’s direction with Sister Barbara Quinn at the Connolly House, home to the Irish Studies Department at BC. Whether we chose to ask a bigger question or a smaller one, each of us drew from the times of silence, the times of guided prayer, and the times of sharing with each other, some measure of light to our path.
Here we offer five takeaways from our day.
On discernment
To close our morning prayer, Sister Barbara shared a poem, “The Real Work”, by the Catholic farmer and scholar from Kentucky, Wendell Berry. He writes, “it may be…that when we no longer know which way to go We have come to our real journey.” Hearing those words, I felt the comfort of company in my inability to see much farther down the road ahead, and encouragement to further lend my ears and listen carefully. James Reding, a fellow participant, put it succinctly – we use all of our senses to “discern next steps in our journey, not necessarily outcomes or final destinations.”
On time
When one takes time out for retreat and allows oneself to slow down enough to hear the still small voice, time takes on a different quality. Not having to make something happen within a deadline, we find eternity opening up in a single moment. The surroundings at the Connolly House lent themselves to this awareness of the precious nature of taking our time. Observing the beautiful craftsmanship in the carved wooden staircase and mantles or in the patient work of the magnificent stained glass Saint Patrick window and the lead rosettes, relishing in the unlikely shamrocks growing wild in the greenhouse or taking in some sun before the dormant winter flower beds, we were able to open ourselves to God’s time. As fellow retreatant Anthony Abi Awad noticed, we received the ability to accept the sometimes slow process of getting to the end product or to an answer. God responds in time.
On relationship
As a hybrid student who interacts with my fellow mates mostly on a screen in asynchronous time, it was precious for me to be in prayer and in discernment in real time, in person. As we have all experienced thanks to the pandemic, incarnate, living, breathing exchange with our brothers and sisters is of paramount – and previously taken for granted – importance. In order to “engage in a conversational relationship with God” as my brother Antony puts it, I need not to be God’s mind reader, but a person discovering herself through my interactions with Jesus in those he puts with me on the path.
On freedom
Driving on my way to Chestnut Hill, I heard a folk song on the radio by Eric Anderson called “Waves of Freedom”. The final notes on the words of the title touched me as I drove and reminded me of this blessed gift we receive as People of God. I smiled when Sister Barbara shared Galations 5:13-23 as a key to our process of discernment, starting with Paul’s words “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free.” As graduate students we are inspired, nourished and challenged by our intellectual work, the new relationships we are forming, and the excitement we have around the contributions we are being called to make. As we recognize the gifts of the Holy Spirit given along the way, though the demands on our time and resources are consequential, we open to the next step in the knowledge of our freedom, and we allow our fear to go out with the surf.
On learning
“Today I am telling you new things, things you have never heard before so that you could not say, Oh yes, I knew all that.” Isaiah 48:6
Sister Barbara started the sharing of Scripture readings with this quote from Isaiah, again touching us in our experience and taste of God. In my first twenty years or so I had pride of knowledge and understanding. When I read a text that thrilled me, I had the feeling that it thrilled me because somehow it woke something up in me that I already knew. So exciting it seemed, I did not think to ask for the living water that one need not go back to the well ever again to enjoy. When we receive this water and learn not to know, every turn is new and we know only the One who is leading us. We learn and embrace what Wendell Berry shares in his poem, that “the mind that is not baffled is not employed”, that “The impeded stream is the one that sings.” We are singing a song required by our impediment, and we will make a joyful noise.