Why I Believe: Emily Kate Marticello

Just stop it, sit down and grab a coffee… This is the current daily reminder Christ gives to me. “Just stop it.” My life, from the time I could talk, has always been a constant buzzing whirlwind. Mom would rush me from soccer practice to Irish dance. Then in high school it was a 7am NHS meeting, classes all day with homework during lunch, Tennis practice after school, and then studying before lights out. I imagined things would slow down once I got to college but I didn’t like the down time, it felt unnatural. So once again I threw myself into 12+ hour days, working to seamlessly balance life, classes, friends, networking and ministry. It felt good and I loved a good brag about my busy schedule. I enjoyed shifting schedules and running across campus for the next event. But every night, the rush left me running on empty with little time for a spiritual encounter in my day.

This past year, I have had specific instances where I feel God was asking me to slow down and take it all in. I started to take notice specifically during my time abroad. I studied in Rome during the fall and I was so excited to once again balance classes, friends, and travel throughout the 15 week semester. After the first mass on campus, I approached the priest and asked if I could help with retreats, or music… anything! He brushed me off and mentioned that students are always flighty during their semesters abroad, I was shocked. I wrote in my journal about feeling “vocation-less” and I emailed a minister back home to complain. To my surprise, she wrote back saying that maybe God wanted me to take time away from “doing” and instead try just “being.”

When reflecting on why I believe, in God, in my faith, or in my prayer, a major factor is always my ability to just “be” and still God loves me. My busy life does not make God love me, in fact, busy-ness in my life can serve as a distraction from the bigger underlying movements within my faith. As I mentioned, I have felt that God is asking me to just stop and be still, especially in this past year. This request became especially clear while I was on retreat in October. We had a session on Imaginative Prayer (Jesuits… anyone?) and the scripture was on the blind man. In my mind, I was a disciple, working on crowd control and trying to get Jesus from point A to point B. Then, Jesus stopped and told me to quit rushing, there is beauty right here before me. The prayer stuck me as an intervention, a request to find peace before my eyes.

I still struggle with over-scheduling, but it is through my belief in God and my trust in his design that I am working to stop, sit down, and have a conversation with God over a cup of coffee.

EMILY KATE MARTICELLO is a graduating senior, studying business management and Catholic studies at Loyola University Chicago.
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